Predators (2010): Supplemental

Edited highlights from Ashley Hodgkin’s supplementary review of Predators.

  • On the film’s  plot – “Predators skimmed over the top of almost every topic it introduced – particularly the part about each character being specifically chosen because of their variety of combat skills. All I saw were a group of people who could empty their clips when startled, and release adrenaline when running. Hell, I can do that.”
  • On Laurence Fishburne’s wisdom – “His cameo adds nothing of substance to the plotline except for providing some (inconsistent) facts about the Predators. I took note that the titular beasties travel in three and are intelligent, before nodding off for a brief moment. When I woke, Morpheus is shouting (I shit you not) “This is MY house, motherfuckers!” and our heroes are running for their lives from what I swear were more than three Predators.”
  • On the almighty Predator(s) – “As the cast are picked off one by one I am not shown the stellar predatory skills which I’m led to believe exist. Then there’s a bear trap. I thought these guys were conniving and super smart, where’d this vintage bear trap come from?”
  • On Adrien Brody’s story arc – “The main character that we all assumed was an arse, surprises us by not really being an arse! Praise the lord. Now there’s a half-decent human-on-alien scene with a bit of variation to the good ol’ Arnie covered in mud. Then we’re treated with a heroes at dawn shot.”
  • Final thoughts – “When I first saw Predator I knew it was a top film, and I was hoping Predators might’ve been something in the same vein. Turns out I was hoping for the wrong thing. What I should’ve been praying for was that the writers wouldn’t try and distract me from the shallow storyline with mediocre action scenes. There’s no depth to this film; the best action films are intelligently designed, even those classics with the least to say. Maybe I’m still swooning over Toy Story 3, a film not half as plastic and wooden as this one.”
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One thought on “Predators (2010): Supplemental

  1. “Maybe I’m still swooning over Toy Story 3, a film not half as plastic and wooden as this one.”

    Haha, awesome line!

    Like

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